


I am All Yours: Don't you Want Me? Levi x Reader Book 2

by Shanlulu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shanlulu/pseuds/Shanlulu
Summary: THIS IS PART 2 - PLEASE SEE "http://archiveofourown.org/works/10520289/chapters/23221770" for the first part.Probably a very badly written sequel.





	1. Chapter 1

**Please read "I am All Yours" First as this will make no sense at all if you haven't read it. Are you ready for a rollercoaster? Buckle up Baby!**

 

For the Love of Files!

"Why did I agree to do this job?" You cried out in exasperation, surrounded by files and papers, to the point that if anyone were to walk in the room, they would not be able to see you unless they looked closely. You heard a chuckle from your companion, who was also hidden behind books and papers, and you scowled at him, even though he wouldn't be able to see you. 

"Kotenok, I thought you liked reading. Nothing like good book." You heard the deep timbre of his voice descend into laughter again, and you heard him stand up, a few of the files scattering onto the floor. You muttered under your breath about this was  _nothing_  like a good book. The heavy footsteps on the wooden floor told you that he was coming over for a visit, or in other words; a break. "Oh look, you are sweet on floor, like little book worm"

You scowled at the redhead but it was far too difficult to stay angry at those gentle green eyes and that cheeky smile of his. "Lex, honestly, anyone would think you are enjoying this! I used to like reading until I took this job! All the mission reports are boring me to death." You said with a slight whine in your voice. 

"Now, now. Remember what life would be like if you didn't. You were to be thrown out of Corps and Military Police. Where do you think you would be now, if Alexei had not gone to commander to ask for your company, hmm?" His face was stern, with a raised eyebrow; yet again he  _was_  right. If he hadn't have helped you, you would have been disgracedandhomeless. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a boiled sweet and dropped it in your own.   
  
You opened your mouth in surprise. "Okay okay. So you're right...  _again!_  But where did you get these? Even with the top ration cards you cant get these." You eyed him suspiciously, however even with narrowed eyes, you unwrapped the sweet and popped it in your mouth, giving him some semblance of a smile.

"Good, no? I brought them with me, from city. Sugar will pick you up, I have not seen pretty smile on face for a while. What is wrong?" Lex's eyes set on you with a sad gaze, like he almost knew what you were about to say before you had even said it. He smiled in an attempt to hide the fact that he knew things weren't as good as you normally made out but it was obvious enough that he had even asked the question.  
  
"Nothing is wrong Lex" You answered, however the apathy in your voice conveyed that there was. You looked away from him and sighed, there would be no way to change the conversation, he would not allow it for one thing. If Lex knew there was something wrong, he would not let up until you had finally given in and divulged all the gory details; yet you really didn't feel like talking. 

"Now, Kotenok." Lex cleared his throat, you knew that was his way of telling you that he wasn't going to wait forever, and that you had better start speaking sharpish. 

"Oh! Fine! Not like you aren't going to pester me until I finally give in is it?" You said with a huff. "Well things were going fine, it was great, and then when people found out about me being in internal affairs they just started making life difficult and avoiding me... and then..." You trailed off. 

"Mr Darcy?" Lex offered gently. 

"Yes." You answered miserably. "I just don't know whats happened. Everything was amazing, after everything we went through together and now it feels like he's a stranger to me. I wouldn't mind it if he shouted at me, but I don't even get that any more! Then there is the fact that he is always away on scouting missions and I barely even see him any more, let alone the rest of the team." If you could have slumped any further onto the floor you would have done, but there was no more room to collapse in a pitiful heap. "I just don't know whether it was worth it you know?"

You knew deep down that it wasn't true, you would have gone through it again and again just to have been with Levi. For the smile that he reserved only for you, and the glare that you got if you went anywhere near Eren. Even to this day, he still did not like you being around him, all the more reason that you now met in secret, and chatted about the missions that he went on, often, it made you feel isolated that you weren't able to experience them with him, but you knew that it was no longer possible. 

"Worth. I see. You do not love Darcy anymore?" Lex asked almost perplexed. 

"Of course I do! I just don't know what to do any more, or whether he feels the same way." Your voice sounded even more pathetic than when you had first started. Lex gave a small chuckle, the air seeming to lift around you as the notes echoed into the hallway. 

"I have to tell again? The Captain loves you (y/n) but I do not think you talk. Love walks hand held with talking. Maybe you should try this? All is not lost. Just try it. It will not be long before he is back from mission and you should sit by fire and talk about why heart aches." Once again Lex, the one who had avoided relationships for most of his life, had given the best advice to try and salvage the imminent end of your tryst. 

"You are a clever man Lex! I shall, as soon as he is home I will drag him into our quarters and talk." You smiled properly for the first time in a long while. Alexei shook his head, and laughed.   
  
"I do not think forcing him to talk is wise. It must be gentle process, for both to open up. Still, it is good start!" Lex moved away again and settled down to his papers, after a few minutes he spoke again. "Have you found anything that would suggest why Commander took bribe?"  
  
"No" You sighed, feeling slightly defeated. You had been reading through all these documents with nothing to suggest that there was any corruption within the Corps. Erwin had sworn blind that he would not say another word about the incident and had not been pressed by the more senior members to do so.  _Surprise, surprise._  However, that was your task, you had to find out the nature of the bribe and all details regarding it, so the situation never happened again. 

Hours passed before you managed to break away from your reading, and you noticed it was starting to get dark out. The reason that you had been roused from your investigations was because you heard a lot of movement downstairs, that could only mean one thing; Levi was back.   
  
With a jump, which sent papers flying everywhere, you ran out of the room, a fire lit in your heart to get things sorted with your 'Mr Darcy', you heard Lex cry out in his rustic brogue, probably swearing at the sound of more files crashing down behind him, but you didn't care, all you wanted to do was see Levi and welcome him home.   
  
You stopped next to the doors to the entrance, and straightened out your clothes that were wrinkled from sitting down. You could feel your heart racing and your cheeks burning with delight at being able to see him. Quickly you sneaked a look out of the window next to you, waiting for the opportune moment to catch him off guard with your overwhelming love for him.  
  
However, when you looked outside, there was Levi, helping a woman down from his horse. You blinked in confusion, with a puzzled furrow forming at your brow, and you continued to watch. The woman rested her hand on his shoulders, tenderly though, not as if she was using him to balance herself and you were almost sure you caught Levi smiling. Your frown grew deeper, this wasn't normal behaviour for Levi at all!   
  
"Captain, would you like me to fetch (y/n) and let her know that you have returned?" Asked one of the cadets, you tilted your head, at least someone had thought of you! You held your breath waiting for his response, he would explain it all, you were sure.   
  
"No. Do Not. Our guest will be staying in my quarters. Let the staff know, and have a room made up for Officer (L/N). Also advise her this, she is up in the archives I expect. Now leave us be." The Captain ordered, no ounce of affection in his tone when he spoke of you, and he was now throwing you out of your shared bedroom, with no mention of him staying with you.   
  
"Yes Sir." The cadet rushed past you, as you hid in the shadows of the room and you stood there paralysed. Time seemed to stand still, you couldn't fathom why this was happening. Their footsteps were the only thing that wrenched you back into reality, and you stayed where you were, barely able to breathe.   
  
They walked past you, not noticing you standing there, you hoped they would move quickly so you could move out into the courtyard to finally get some air, yet they stopped, Levi turning to his new acquaintance.   
  
"Who is this Officer (L/N) to you?" The woman asked, her face still hidden by the dim light in the hallway.   
  
"Tsk. No one, she is nothing."


	2. Part 2 - Scrabbling around in the Dark

The world seemed to turn to grey as his words echoed around in your mind Nothing, She is Nothing! If you had been so shocked you probably would have stormed after him and demanded that he explain himself, but the whole scenario had left you completely at a loss. What the heck was going on? What had forced this change in him? Surely things hadn't gotten so bad that he would find someone else? 

Managing to find your feet again, you shuffled out into the courtyard, the wind was blowing furiously, cutting through you like icy fingers with razor sharp nails. You looked around, luckily no one else was around apart from the cadets sorting out the horses after their journey. You had nowhere specific that you needed to be, yet you found yourself wandering towards the little thicket of trees that you had come accustomed to going whenever you felt down. 

Sitting down by your favourite tree your eyes glazed over, inside the gentle part of you was crying, your innocent self holding desperately onto the remnants of your broken heart. A little over the top? Possibly, but it was a blow that you never thought that you would have to experience. Of course, there must be a rational reason for the way he was, yet, you couldn't work out why he would not even entertain the idea of seeing you. Anyone would think you were a mere annoyance to him, rather than his lover, or maybe that's all you were to him. No. That couldn't be right, he had said he loved you and that wasn't something you would have imagined that Levi would say to get what he wanted. 

You furrowed your brow as you tried anything and everything to work out why. Why would he be like this? Who was that woman? Sadness gave way to anger, adrenaline beginning to surge through your veins. What the fuck was he playing at? How dare he! Standing up again you grabbed your field knife that Jean had given you for your birthday and threw it at the tree opposite you, as it hit its target with a satisfying thwack! Lex appeared next to the tree, eyeing it with distaste that it could have been his head. 

"I take it you are annoyed Kotenok? At the tree? I think it does nothing to you!" Lex quipped when he saw the raw anger in your eyes. Taking hold of the knife, he pulled it from its embedded position in the wood and tapped the blade in his hand, walking closer to you. "I take it has to do with Darcy, No?" He raised an eyebrow, he always knew. 

"He didn't want to see me!!!" You growled in response, your words drenched with seething bitterness. Your companion raised his hand in a motion to stop you from speaking again, only when he saw you relent did the hand sweep through his crimson hair, and with the other passed you the knife he had retrieved. "Lex... What is going on?" You mumbled, begrudgingly placing the blade back in its sheath on your belt. 

"I had cadet looking for you. He told me that Darcy did not want to see you nor have you in room. I came to find you after, I knew you would be like this. Nor can I blame you." He paused, furrowing his own brows, obviously trying to figure out what it could possibly mean. "I am surprised you did not throw something at him, I take you watched him?"

"Yes." You answered simply. "They seemed unusually familiar with each other." 

"Hmmm. This poses problem. I do not understand it. Did you see woman?" Lex leaned on a tree not far from you and shook his head.

"No, from whatever place I stood, I didn't get a good look at her. If I had have done I probably would have thrown my knife at her face." Your hand twitched over the hilt of the blade again, wishing you had done so, hindsight was a bitch. You sighed, your breath still weighted with anger and irritation. 

"I do not think that would be good idea. You need to find out why he doesn't want to see you. Storming to office is too obvious, and likely to be turned away. We need to see who woman is, this is priority. It should not be too hard to work out, we are bound to see them around here at some point. Come, I have some whiskey that has your name on it. Let us calm those nerves." Lex was right as usual, and a stiff drink was definitely needed. 

\-----

Getting information about the Woman was actually more difficult than you and Lex realised. No one had seen her, other than the few that were in the courtyard when Levi had arrived, let alone had information about her. In addition to this Levi was no where to be seen either, it was like they had both vanished, apart from the fact that the door to his room was permanently locked. You had tried to speak to Erwin who had pretty much denied her existence, and wouldn't say a word on the subject. The present cadets knew absolutely nothing either, they had not been able to catch much of a glimpse of her with her hood covering most of her face. You and Lex had to face the fact that you weren't getting anywhere. 

"Hey you!" Eren sat down next to you in the mess hall, food in hand as you played with your meal on the plate with no intention to eat it. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, knowing that there would be no watchful eyes of Captain Douchebag around to get angry at you. You knew this, and in any other situation you would have told him to back off, but you didn't have the energy. 

"Hey." You answered without any enthusiasm. 

"Oh come on (f/n) you know, its not such a great loss. If he is gunna treat you like this, then he isn't worth it. We all know what a bastard he can be, it was only a matter of time before he finally started back to being his usual self." You shot him a dark look, an 'I told you so' was really not needed right now. He removed his arm in response and looked a little sheepish. "Sorry, I know you liked him." The look in his eyes made you sigh, he was only trying to help at the end of the day. 

"Its okay Eren. I appreciate what you are trying to do. I just I don't know what to do, its been days, and I haven't heard a thing from him. Its worse than him being away. If it continues, I might just go back to the city, if he doesn't want me here, I may as well not be here." Eren's face changed to a look of urgency at your reply, his eyes panic-stricken. 

"No! No! Don't leave! This place isn't his, you have as much of a right to be here as him! Don't let him force you out! I will- All of us will miss you. Just look what we did to get you back! Please don't leave, I don't know what I will do, if I knew you weren't here to welcome me home." His cheeks turned pink as he spoke, and you would have prodded him for more information, if your table hadn't been crowded by your group of friends. 

"LEAVE?!" You heard the chorus object to the idea as they sat down. You couldn't get a word in edge-ways as every single one laid out reasons for you to stay and that Levi was a twat. There was no way in hell you were leaving, you would have to stay there for all time, according to the consensus. 

"Hes a fucking idiot if he doesn't want you!" Jean declared with zeal. "I would happily stand in for him!" You looked at him opened mouthed until Sasha punched him in the arm, they blatantly had a thing going on after their trip together to the city, though neither of them would admit it. That punch was another heads up that you were right. You felt Eren's hand snake around your waist and rest gently on your hip. You eyed Eren cautiously, and he gave you an innocent grin, you both knew he was taking advantage of the situation but if you were honest you needed the comfort of arms around you. 

"So have you found anything else out?" Armin asked warily, with a sad smile at the corner of his mouth. You shook your head, you had employed the help of your friends to see if they could gather any information about Levi and the Woman. "No me either, I think its been quiet on that front. No one has seen hide or hair of them."

"Same. Usually Hanji is a great source of information once you get her talking but she doesn't know a thing either. Could it just be part of a secret mission?" Mikasa added in her usual monotone timbre. 

"I highly doubt it. Erwin would have said as much to Lex at least, I'm too involved but he isn't. Its like scrabbling around in the dark." You shrugged. 

"Unless Erwin doesn't know about it." Sasha added quietly. Everyone looked around at her in realisation, no one had thought of that. It was highly unlikely, but there was a chance, Levi hadn't really spoken to Erwin, much less taken orders from him since his return from the city, their relationship was strained at best. The table was quiet as everyone thought about what Sasha had said. The silence, even though there was noise all around you, was just too distracting to you. 

"Right." Getting up from the table you straightened your jacket. "I need to meet Lex for our evening run, I'll see you in a bit." Everyone seemed a little surprised to see you get up so quickly, but you just wanted to get away from the conversation. You placed a hand on Eren's shoulder, and he looked at you with interest. "I'll come and find you later, we can chat then."

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked, trying to hide the smile on his lips. You shook your head in response and gave the rest of your friends a departing wave as you walked out of the hall. As much as you wanted to find out what was going on, there was a part of you that was petrified of knowing the answer. 

You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your trousers, the temperature drop from the hall to the corridor was like walking into a freezer. Your eyes were trailing along the floor when you heard a singular echo of footsteps further down the hallway. Before you could stop yourself you looked up and there he was, Levi. 

He looked tired, but emotionless as usual. Seeing him made your heart race and your body began to tremble as you kept your pace. You longed for him to push you up against the wall, for him to show you how much he had missed you, yet there was no indication that was going to happen. You were a couple of metres away from him, when you caught him glance at you, but there was nothing; no flash of emotion or even recognition to let you know that it all wasn't a dream. 

His eyes darted back, and he kept on walking, not a word to you, as if you weren't even there. As he passed you, you had to stop yourself from reaching out to gab his arm, make him acknowledge you, it took everything you had, your eyes still focused on him, your eyes large and filled with tears. You stopped, and listened as he walked away. 

"Levi..."


	3. Part 3 - It's Like I Don't Exist

Part 3 - It's Like I Don't Exist

"Levi..."

You would have done anything for him to answer, even huff, but there was nothing. You felt the tears well up in your eyes, but you were far too gone to be crying, you were angry. He was doing everything he could to piss you off and you knew it. The absence of any feeling shown, enraged you, what the heck was he playing at? You turned round and watched his back. 

"LEVI!" You shouted down the corridor, did you see him falter in your step? Did he grasp the sadness, the anger in your voice? It was merely a momentary pause and he continued on, as if he had heard nothing. Your fists clenched. He had gone too far, no circumstances warranted this treatment and you stormed the opposite way down the hallway, the sound of your boots echoing around the empty walls. 

Upon reaching the stairs, you glanced at Levi's office, your previous home, and realised by a twist of fate that the door had been left ajar. Curiosity consumed you, and without a second thought you moved to the door, and slunk through, leaving the door as you had left it. 

The room was in disarray, most unlike Levi. There were files everywhere, if you hadn't realised where you were, you would have been certain you were in the archive room where you spent most of your days. Moving slowly over to the counter closest to you, you picked up a file, and scanned its contents. There was notes on a mission a fair few years ago, when you were still young, you hadn't even it double figures. That really was a long time ago! 

You frowned, why were these not up in the archives? Could these possibly be the files that Lex and you needed? Intrigue had caught you up, and you pulled up another file, when you heard a noise from the bedroom. Giving the door a quizzical look, you moved over and tried the handle only to find it locked. Was the woman locked in there? Was she Levi's prisoner?

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" That icy cold voice, could only belong to one person. You whirled round surprised, you should have known he wouldn't have gone long. Your eyes narrowed at the sight of him, it didn't matter that you were essentially in the wrong, by being in his office. He had mortally offended your pride by pretending you didn't exist. Looking down at yourself you acted surprised. 

"Oh, so you can see me then." You raised an eyebrow, your sharp tongue making the most of the moment presented to you. "Funny, considering I was so certain I was invisible a few minutes ago, oh and the last couple of weeks to." Your stance changed, feet set level on the ground, if he wanted an argument, he was going to fucking get it. 

"I don't need your attitude, get out of my office. Now!" He was so cold, he wasn't entertaining the idea of talking to you at all, but you weren't leaving, and all the extra training with Lex meant you could definitely hold your own against him now, if it were to get physical. 

"I'm not leaving Levi. Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on. I am sick and tired of not knowing anything! Was everything that happened all for nothing? Did it mean shit to you? Is that the reason why you can throw me away so easily? It's like I don't exist!" You realised at first that you were shouting and ended your questions in a quiet growled tone. Something must have shifted in him, for a second, you saw some regret, or sorrow, or something, but it was gone moments later. Had what you said struck a nerve?  
"I have told you to get out. So fucking do so." He added again, his voice showing a hint of anger. 

"You cant order me around like a cadet anymore Levi. Stop it." You knew this wasn't going anywhere and it would be a stalemate, so you conceded, he wasn't going to tell you anything. Grabbing a few more files on your way out, you cleared your throat authoritatively. 

"You should not have taken these out of the archives without express permission. I will have to write up the fact you withheld information into our investigation." 

"Knock yourself out." He answered flatly. Levi went to close the door, your boot stopping it from closing completely.

"I am glad we are in agreement. I shall ask for Eren's help this evening to go through them with me." You knew it was catty mentioning him, even just to get a rise out of Levi. You saw his eyes narrow, and the instinctive "No!" form on his lips but he stopped himself before he did so and slammed the door in your face. 

Cradling the files in your arms you, grinned to yourself, you knew he would be fuming for hours at the idea of you spending time with Eren, even if you weren't planning on doing so. It was also strange to you that he didn't care about the files you had taken, obviously they were not important for what he needed. You couldn't help but shake as you walked up the stairs to the archives, the adrenaline of the events still coursing through your veins. 

"Ah, there you are." You looked up to see Lex smiling at you, and noticed his quick glance to the files. "I see you have found something, no?"

"Yes, I managed to sneak into Levi's office and grab these, before he came back" You grinned triumphantly. Lex raised his eyebrow at you, he obviously disbelieved that you were able to get into the office without being noticed. "Okay well, Levi caught me, but I still have them, so that's a plus, right?" You added quickly. 

"Hmm, I doubt it was pleasant." The redhead mused. 

"No, not really, but lets not talk about that." You moved towards your room, and motioned for Lex to follow. He did so, more of the intrigue of the files, than the incitement of being in your room. He was such a gentleman, he even paused before entering and it was only when you goaded him to sit down that he finally entered, looking somewhat out of place and awkward. 

You handed some of the other files that you had gathered and sat on your bed, still looking over the first one you had picked up. It didn't seem to hold much relevance, the person writing the report wasn't anyone familiar to you. Sighing you threw the file on the bed in defeat, looking at it again from further away, something caught your eye. 

E. Smith assigned to another team due to conflict of interest. 

"Whats this?" You pulled the paper from the rest and looked over the page, apparently it was during a clean up effort, though the date was strangely blacked out, it didn't mention any reason as to why, just that one sentence. You told Lex of what you found and he furrowed his brow in response. 

"I do not have a lot in this file either, but there is mention of a female, one that was put into hiding a good few years ago, but all of the details are blacked out. There was code name for operation, one of things that they didn't expunge from record. Operation Golden Sun."

"What the heck is that?" You asked confused. 

"I am not sure but if you believe in fate, I think it has to do with The Woman."


	4. Part 4 - Keep me Sane

Part 4 

 

You looked down at your papers, you had been staring at them for hours in hope that an idea would come to you about Operation Golden Sun. However, no such miracle happened, you hadn't even realised that the room had become dark with the fading light, and you had completely forgotten to eat. 

You stretched, Lex had been gone for a long while, but had made no more progress from when he had been in your room. Gingerly you stood up, throwing your jacket on the bed, slowly stretching your calf muscles in hope they wouldn't cramp. A few internal crunches of your back told you that you really should have been sitting in a better position, when you heard a knock at the door. Tilting your head, wondering who it might be, it was late, not many people visited you at this time of night. 

"Come in." You called, taking a hair brush from the cabinet on the far wall and letting the hair fall down past your shoulders from the tie that kept it in place. You heard the door open, and boots step across the wooden boards of your room. With a quick turn of your head, you realised it was Eren, and you smiled to yourself, of course it was Eren. "Missing me were you?" You heard a small chuckle. 

"No, but you said you would come and see me. You didn't, so I thought I would come and see you instead." After finally getting the last small knots out of your hair, you placed your brush back on the cabinet and turned to him. You had forgotten that you had said that to him. Shit. With a sheepish smile, you looked to the floor, you felt bad for not remembering to go and see him. 

"I'm sorry Eren. I was so wrapped up in the files that I lost track of time." You gave the scattered papers on the bed a glance and realised that he had followed your eyes. "I managed to get these out of Levi's room, witho- well he caught me but it's something at least." Eren's eyes darkened, and closed the gap between the two of you. 

"He didn't hurt you did he?" That fire was back in his eyes. How did he know that Levi would have been cold to you, to have got to the point where it could have turned to violence again? Or did he think Levi was always like that? Pretty Jaded. "If I find out that he touched you like he did on the training field I will kill him." You watched him perplexed as he traced his warm fingers over your cheek. "You are far too important to be hurt by him. He has done it one time too many for my liking." 

"Eren..." The way he looked at you, scared you. There was something deeper there than you had ever realised before, that fiery passion that you had always put down to his hatred for Levi, but had you just read the whole situation wrong? No, it couldn't be. "No he didn't hurt me. Just shouted at me" You tugged on his hand, that still lingered by your cheek, bringing you some distance from the non-existent space between the pair of you. 

"(f/n). I know you don't want to hear this, but someone needs to say it to you. He used you. He got what he wanted and now he's found something which he now thinks is stupidly is better." The tone he said it with was bitter, and obviously harbouring his lack of love for Levi. You turned away from him unable to understand why he was saying this now. You knew from your interactions with Levi and also the way it seemed... he was right, but hearing it hurt so much more. 

You felt two hands wrap around your waist from behind, feeling him all around you. What the fuck was happening? What was he doing? This was so not happening!!! "Please listen to me. I know you are hurting, I know you lov-. Well I know you felt deeply for him, but he doesn't love you like...." Eren halted his words. He couldn't really have been saying what you thought he was. This was getting out of control. However, even though your head was a mess and you were close to tears, you couldn't help but shrink into him. He had always been so warm, even from when you were in the infirmary and you felt how warm his hands were, you had loved the warmth. 

"Eren. I shouldn't be this close to you. Its not right. I cant do this." You whispered, barely able to think straight. His response was to only hold you tighter and nuzzle into your hair. What could you do in this situation? You knew you shouldn't, but you needed someone just to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay. So he wasn't doing the latter but the contact was definitely needed. "I just-"

"Shut up and just let me hug you, will you!" Eren responded. He wasn't letting you go, that was evident. You were sure you could feel him inhale deeply as if taking in your scent and you moved to get away, it was becoming far too familiar, and there was a part of you that was beginning to enjoy it. You loved Levi. Even if he had thrown you away like trash, but this wasn't right. You managed to break free of him, not that he was forcing you yet he didn't want to let you go. Looking back at him you couldn't help but feel guilty. 

"I cant do this. I love Levi. You mean so much to me, but-" It happened in an instant. He moved to you, his hand gliding to your cheek, fingers curling around the back of your neck, his hand wrapped around your waist and his lips to yours. Your eyes widened. WHAT THE FUCK!? His lips were like molton fire, and the air around you was dense with his desire. The whole room seemed to focus on this moment. You were frozen, like ice against fire. How were you going to explain this one to Levi? Would he even care? You felt yourself melting against his flames, would it be so wrong? YES! NO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Your mind screamed completely knocked off balance and it was only when the kiss ended that you felt warm tears streak down your cheeks. He had broken you, someone had finally broken down the wall you had put up. 

Eren looked at you earnestly, sadness in his eyes. "(f/n) Please, if you wont accept me, let me at least give you the comfort that you need. Let me at least give you the peaceful sleep that you desire, you get so cold at night, I promise I wont try anything." He seemed so gentle, could you really deny him? It was cold up here, and it was dreadfully difficult to sleep without the fire in Levi's room. 

Before you had even thought about it, you nodded. Eren stepped away from you and cleared the papers off your bed, sat down and took off his boots and jacket. You were relieved that he didn't take anything else off. You had seen his body previously and recognised that the situation would only get worse if you were left alone to any desires that may come to you in the night. Sheepishly, you sat on the bed next to him feeling stupidly awkward, and took off your own boots. You heard Eren laugh. 

"Come on, don't be so scared. We've fallen asleep on the same bed together before." He nudged your shoulder with his own.

"Yeah but you hadn't kissed me before that." You said, your cheeks going pink at the thought of it. It was true, there was no turning back after this. You knew his intentions for sure now, there was no going back to being just platonic friends. You whirled your legs onto the bed and laid on your side, as Eren did the same. Almost wanting to hide behind your pillow. 

"Then forget it happened." How could he say that? How could you forget that? He must have noticed the confusion on your face and he laughed. "Okay you cant, but I mean who couldnt?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively. There was something about his playfulness that you had never had with Levi and you were unable to stop yourself from smiling. "Tell me whats going on with the Woman." 

You were glad that he had changed the subject, and told him all you had found out, everything that had happened in the hallway and Levi's office. It felt strange recounting it to Eren, what with what you knew now, but he didnt get angry, he was interested for other reasons: to prove that Levi was no longer interested. ".. and that's what we found in the files." You ended with a yawn.

"I think this little lady needs to sleep. Grab the covers, and get some shut-eye . We'll talk about it in the morning, maybe a new day will give us a better perspective." You nodded, blew out the candle by the side of your bed and pulled the covers over you, nestling yourself into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. His warmth enveloped you, his strong arms wrapped around you tightly and his chin resting on the top of your head. You never thought you would feel so comfortable in another mans arms, but here you were. "Sleep well."

You were dozing, Eren already asleep. Everything was quiet, when you picked up a creak on the floor outside, and you were sure you heart the latch of the door click open, but you were so exhausted you were sure it was just noises of the building. Then a whisper of angered words reached your ears. "Stupid brat."


	5. When All is Said and Done

You sat up with a start. Had you been dreaming? No. The door was definitely open. You felt Eren shift beside you at your sudden movement but he stayed asleep. Without a moments thought, you slipped out from under the covers and quietly rushed to the door and then to the hall outside. You had expected to see nothing, that it was all in your head, only to turn the corner and see Levi his head bowed and his fists clenched, that was not what you were expecting. You moved closer, the floor cold on your naked feet, and laid a hand on Levi's arm.

He didn't flinch like you were guessing he would have, he merely tilted his head, his eyes locking with yours in an angry yet sad expression. You realised he had clenched his teeth too, he was just a walking time bomb, that much was obvious.

"Levi... I..."

"Say nothing. I am not stupid. I know what's going on here." He said rigidly, barely moving his lips. His eyes moved from yours to glare at the floor. He seemed so reserved, but you got the feeling that you weren't meant to have woken up, but what the hell was he doing watching you whilst you slept anyhow?

"Nothing is going on. Eren was just keeping me warm. Ever since I was thrown out I havent been able to sleep properly." You replied in hushed tones to make sure that you didn't make too much noise and wake others up. He looked up at you again, his cold eyes searching yours, surely he could see that it was true. You suffered with the cold dreadfully and after a moments pause, he pushed himself off the wall. "Not that it matters considering you don't give two flying fucks about me anymore." You added bitterly. It was all well and good explaining everything to him, but what did it truly matter?

"I am not explaining myself to you." He glared at you, mentioning the relationship had annoyed him. He grabbed your chin roughly and drew nearer. "If I find you with him again, there will be hell to pay." He uttered the words as a threat and a promise. There was no doubt in your mind that he meant it, but why? He didn't want you, was he stopping you from from being with anyone else as well or was it just Eren? Not that you wanted to be with anyone else. He pulled you closer, his mouth by your ear and whispered almost in a growl. "You. Are. Mine." He let go then, turned heel and walked away leaving you speechless. What in the world was going on?

You stood there for a few minutes, just standing where he had left you, staring off into the distance, wondering whether you were still dreaming. He had acted so strangely, the Levi you had grown to love would have flipped out if he had seen that. He would have woken everyone up with his shouting yet he had been strangely quiet. The later part was definitely more like him but there was a certain malice there that you had never experienced before, let alone the possessive nature of his words. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard giggling and a deep rumble of laughter coming from one of the rooms opposite yours. You raised an eyebrow and titled your head as you tried to gauge who's room it was coming from.

Your question was shortly answered when you heard a door open, filling the hallway with a gentle light from a candle flickering in the room, followed by another deep laugh. Your eyes widened in shock when you saw the two figures appear, and realised it was none other than Lex... and Hanji. Your open mouth of shock turned to a smile as you watched Hanji whisper something to your companion and give him a kiss on the cheek and slink away to her room. Luckily, they hadn't seen you and he closed the door behind him, chuckling to himself.

Curiosity overwhelmed you, almost causing you to forget what had happened with Levi; this was far too intriguing not to investigate. Quietly you crept to Lex's door and quietly knocked, stifling a giggle. You heard his footsteps coming closer, and watched in anticipation as you saw the door handle turn. 

"Did you forget something?" Lex asked in a voice you had never heard before. He seemed to be suave and somewhat seductive. His eyes met yours and widened in horror, you were not who he was expecting. You saw him turn as bright red as his hair, your eyes trailing to his shirt, which was half done up. "Ko-Kotenok..I.. uh.." He cleared his throat awkwardly. 

"You have to let me in and tell me all about this! You kept this quiet!" You said as you slipped inside his room, Lex was still to astounded to have been caught to stop you and he sighed heavily as he closed the door behind him. Settling yourself in the chair in the corner of the room, you steadied your gaze upon him, waiting for him to explain himself. 

"I.. Hanji.. We were just..." His words faltered as his excuses failed him, and you were beyond the point of stopping yourself from laughing. Huddling your feet underneath yourself to keep them warm, you leaned on your hand and shook your head. 

"Lex! You ol' dog. I didn't know you had it in you! And Hanji none the less! I'm hurt you didn't tell me." You said with a pout. Lex sat on the bed and looked at you woefully, he had obviously meant to keep it a secret, at least for the time being. 

"It is not like that. We were talking, one thing led to another, I never thought she felt that way. It was very out of character for me. If I do such things, I like to do properly, like dinner and walks and-" You interrupted him with a cackle of laughter. 

"Really? Thats so gentlemanly of you! But Lex, most of the scouts will die within six months, that isnt enough time to court, wine and dine! Let alone the fact there is no where to wine and dine here! We arent in the dark ages, we have titans to deal with." The smirk still etched into your features, your voice laced with mirth. 

"You think I do not know that?! You think I do not know that half the people I make friends with will not come home? What if you were still out in field? How could I protect you? How could I protect the ones I love?" You didn't expect that reaction, your jest had fallen on rather sorrowful ears, Lex had taken it to heart, but you couldn't blame him either. With a sad smile you moved from the chair and sat next to him on the bed, now was not the time to make jokes.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. You don't have to worry, I'm not in the field any more, and Hanji can take care of herself. I've seen her against the titans, you have nothing to fear." You nuzzled your cheek into his arm and looked up at him with big eyes, the light catching the lines of scars along his jaw. "Smile for me big brother, I hate to see you like this." With that he looked down at you and smiled as you had requested, his big hand reaching over to tousle your hair. He made a small movement with his arm, the one you were leaning on, and you moved away, only for him to bring you into a one armed embrace.

"I do not know what Id do without you Kotenok. Now, I have question for you. What are you doing up at this time of night?" The question caught you off guard and all that had happened came flooding back to you. You gave a deep sigh, and filled him in as he sat listening intently. 

"So, Eren is still in your bed? Hmmm and Mr Darcy was watching you." Lex shook his head. "I do not think this bodes well for you, but we shall see. You need to tell Eren to back off, it is not right for him to take advantage while you are heart-sick." You shivered next to him as you nodded your head in agreement. "You are cold? Come. Why don't you settle down with me, I have covers a-plenty and you know I have no intentions for you." You hesitated, this was the first time that Lex had dared to let you sleep in his bed, he was far too gentlemanly for that, but there was no real worry for you to do so. He was your brother, maybe not in blood but in heart and there was nothing so natural as one of Lex's hugs. 

"However, I will tell you some information that I got from Hanji tonight." You both settled down, Lex wrapped an arm around you to keep you warm but maintaining a decent distance away from you. He always managed to do the polite thing, typical Lex. "Erwin had no idea who is with Levi. He did not sanction the mission to go get her either. This is all Levi's doing. It seems Hanji accidentally mentioned it to Erwin, not knowing that he was unaware of our visitor." He nodded at you, looking rather proud of himself. "She also mentioned that Erwin tried to see this woman, but Levi denied him access to her. Strange no?" 

"So you think this really is something to do with our investigation?" You asked sleepily, you were dreadfully interested but you couldn't stop yourself from nodding off to sleep. 

"Yes, I think it is directly involved. We need to speak to Levi tomorrow. We need to sort this out once and for all." You nodded without answering, sleep finally taking you. You heard Lex chuckle. 

"Sleep well Kotenok. Dream of happier days" He kissed you on the forehead and slowly drifted off into his own sleep.


	6. The Strangest Thing

The patter of rain woke you as it lashed against the window panes. The light was grey and lacking in the warm hues that the sun provided. You stretched out in the bed and panicked as to where you were, it took several minutes to realise you were in Lex's bedroom and secondly he was nowhere to be seen. 

Slipping off the bed, your eyes glided around the room, his jacket and boots had gone, and thinking about it, he had probably gone down to breakfast. Taking care to make sure that the bedroom door was closed, you made your way to your own bedroom to find a change of clothes. You hesitated when you turned the handle, what if Eren was in there? What would you say to him? You weren't comfortable with what he had done the night before. In fact, you felt a little betrayed, he was your best friend and he had taken advantage of it to cross friendship into something else. 

Luckily when you entered the room, Eren had already left and as swiftly as you could, you changed, the gnawing in your stomach reminding you that you were desperately hungry. After checking everything, you locked your bedroom door behind you. With Eren being the way he was, you didn't really fancy your door being open for anyone to go in. Not a good plan. 

Your thoughts went to Levi, he was so strange, the way he had acted confused you. He seemed hurt when you mentioned that he didn't care, yet he was cold as ice to you at every given chance. Would it be that perhaps he was carrying a burden that he didn't want you to get involved with or carry? If so it meant that he knew nothing of relationships. 

"Good Morning" You looked up to see Erwin in the corridor a few paces from you. You noted that he seemed to be apprehensive, for what reason, was a mystery to you. 

"Morning Sir." You said simply, your brows forming into a furrow as you watched him more closely. "Is there anything that I can help you with?" You really didn't mean it, you had far too much to think about but he was still the commander after all. 

"I was wondering whether I could have a word." He seemed to guide you down a quieter hallway, which you found strange, it was almost as if he didn't want to talk in his office. This must have meant it was an 'unofficial chat'. 

"Go on." You answered as you both paused, it must have been sufficiently quiet enough for Erwin to talk as he took a deep breath and began. 

"I wanted to speak to you about what Levi is up to. I don't know whether you know, but it seems that he has taken it upon himself to investigate my past. I have also been informed that he has a guest staying with him, however, I was denied access to this person. All I know is that she is a woman, but he wouldn't even allow me to enter his office. I was hoping that you might know more." You raised an eyebrow at him, did he know nothing?

"With all due respect Erwin, I shouldn't talk to you about an ongoing investigation-"

"I am aware of that" He interrupted. "Yet I need to know who is on our premises for the safety of our unit." 

"You should have thought about that before you essentially sold me off to the crooks in the Military Police." You answered sharply, you hadn't realised that you still held resentment against him for the incident that had happened. Erwin bowed his head in regret. 

"I know. I hate myself for it every day. If I am not thinking about it, I have nightmares of all that I put you through." The remorse in his voice was genuine, but he had unearthed feelings that you had long since buried. 

"You have nightmares?! Think how I must feel, it all happened because you wanted to save your own ass. You know this would be a lot easier if you just told me what went on, I then might be able to iron this all out." You couldn't help but tinge your voice with bitterness, at the end of the day, due to his actions, you were beaten and almost raped. He was lucky you were even talking to him at all. 

"I know, I'm sorry. Look, I just can't, it is too painful for me to relive. Please do not think any less of me-" At that moment Jean turned the corner and eyed both of you cautiously. Erwin backed away and mumbled a sorry and walked away. Jean took a few steps towards you, seeming perplexed. 

"Hey, you alright?" He sounded concerned.

"Um.. Yeah. He just caught me off guard, and then brought up the past. I wasn't really expecting it." You sighed. "You on the way to the mess hall?"

"Yup. Cmon, I'm starving." He gestured for you to follow him, as you carried on to breakfast together. "So, what was he talking to you about?"

"Well briefly, he was trying to get information about how the investigation was going, specifically, Levi's investigation." You said tilting your head as you replayed the conversation over in your mind. "It seems that he doesn't know who the woman is either. Levi wouldn't let him see her." 

"Isn't that a bit strange?" Jean asked simply. He wasn't wrong, it was odd. "I mean think about it; if it is going to blow the case wide open, wouldn't Levi reveal it as soon as he could, or couldn't the Commander just tell you?" 

"You would have thought that. Its fairly obvious now that this woman has something to do with Erwin's past, though..." You paused as your mind raced. "What if Levi was checking to make sure that it was actually her? He couldn't reveal it until he was absolutely certain." You came to the entrance of the hall. "We should probably leave talking about this around the others, you know how excited they get about it all." 

"Good point." Jean agreed as he entered the noise that was the mess hall. 

Just before you moved to follow him, you caught movement in your peripheral. Turning your head, you realised that it was the Woman. Shock concreted your feet to the floor as you just watched as she passed. Thick gentle blonde curls fell down over her shoulder, and her deep blue eyes caught yours for a second. Was there a pause when she looked at you? Why did it feel like you had looked into those eyes before?

No.... It couldn't be... 

 

She disappeared as soon as she had appeared. You were confused, she seemed so familiar, yet like a stranger all at the same time. You had had enough, you were going straight to Levi and getting this sorted now. Scanning the hall you noticed that Levi was picking out items for his breakfast. Good, it meant that you didn't need to have any banging on doors for the next hour to get him to acknowledge you. 

You stormed past your friends and walked straight up to him. You were determined not to be ignored this time. You stood in front of him blocking his path, he was not getting out of it this time. He raised his eyes to you, looking fairly shocked, if only for a moment, his gaze slowly turning to the steely cold glare he reserved for most people, usually other than you. 

"What do you want." He stated rather than asked. 

"I want to talk. Now." You glared straight back. 

"I am busy." He answered simply. He did not even seem to want to entertain the idea of talking to you, but he had no choice. Not this time. 

"Make yourself unbusy. Don't make me cause a scene, Levi, unless you want me to discuss this here?" Your tone was as hard as his, you weren't the meek little girl that he had first met. No, who were you kidding, you had never been that girl. Yet, your experiences had made you stronger to his standoffish personality. 

"Tsk. Fine. Walk with me then." If you hadn't been so angry, you would have mourned the loss of closeness between you. If you had been honest you wanted to throw your arms around him and tell him how much you had missed him, but this was not the time, there were more pressing matters to deal with. 

Once you had been released from the noise of the mess hall, you both convened in the entrance hall where you had first seen the woman. Levi just looked at you, making no attempt to speak, as if waiting to hear you out but it only annoyed you further. 

"Levi, you need to tell me what is going on. Whatever you have found out, whoever that woman is, is connected with the investigation into Erwin. You have to share this information with us, it is paramount to getting this all cleared up." You were quite proud of yourself for maintaining your composure, but when he gave you an unimpressed sigh, you had to clench your fists to stop yourself from saying anything else that would give you away. 

"It isn't as easy as telling you. Things are.. complicated." It was the most honest he had been about the whole ordeal, he frowned as if in contemplation as to what to tell you. 

"I don't understand why you are keeping this from me. It is only making the situation worse. Who is she, Levi..? Since you turned up with her, you have discarded me like a used rag. It's infuriating." 

Levi bowed his head as if in remorse, but you couldn't see his features to see what expression he was pulling past his raven hair. At least he wasn't treating you like a piece of shit on his shoe anymore, there was a chance that you might be able to get some information as to what was happening. 

"I know. The discovery is massive, it will affect a fair amount of people. I cannot let anyone know what is going on until I am completely sure." His eyes rose to yours and pulled you into an embrace. You felt like your heart melted, all the pain and bitterness fizzled away, but if this was a way to get out of telling you, then he was sorely mistaken. After a few moments, he released you. "Look. I cannot really tell you anything else, but what I can tell you is that night that you lost everything... is not what it seems."

With that, he pressed his lips to your forehead and left you standing alone, even more confused than when you started. What the hell did he mean? 

Everything is not what it seems...


	7. Returning

You just stood there, barely able to breathe.  **WHAT DID HE MEAN?**  What the hell was he going on about? You looked out the window as the rain poured down from a grey sky. Surely he could have given you more than that. There had to be something in the files you had managed to get from the archives and Levi's room. Calming yourself down enough to be able to breathe, you rushed up the stairs and gathered all the files you could. The answer was in here, you were sure of it, you just had to piece everything together.   
  
Grabbing the papers out of their files you placed them all on the floor as if creating a timeline or map, but yet you still couldn't see it. So this all had to do with a mission that Erwin couldn't go on, for whatever reason, as before the date was blacked out, it hadn't miraculously managed to turn up. There was no other information about the operation Golden Sun. You held your head in your hands, this was getting too much, the answer you were sure was staring you right in the face, but for the life of you, you just couldn't see it.   
  
"So there you are." Said a voice from the door, you jumped, not noticing due to being lost in thought.   
  
"Oh, uh, Eren... Hi." You answered holding your hand to your chest to stop your heart from jumping out of your chest. "You scared me."  
  
"Hah. Well, I thought you had disappeared off into the night when I realised you weren't next to me this morning." He replied, his words implying that he wanted to speak to you about what had happened, but you really didn't have time for it. If anything you looked at him differently now, there was a pressure there that wasn't there before and you weren't sure whether you could go back to the way you were before. Then again, from the way he had acted, it didn't sound like he wanted it to. Why did he have to complicate things like this?  
  
"Sorry... I-" You began to respond before he interrupted.   
  
"Don't worry, its fine, Lex found me and told me what happened." You looked at him slightly puzzled.   
  
"What.. happened?"   
  
"Lex said that you heard him having a nightmare, he was apparently yelling, not that I heard and you went to him to calm him down." He paused. "He also said you sang to him. I've never heard you sing."   
  
"Oh, yes, of course. I wasn't sure he would have told you that he had a bad dream, that's why I was wary of saying anything." Thank goodness for Lex. He had covered for you in the best way possible. He could have left the singing bit out of it though. Jeez, you couldn't sing to save your life, maybe, unless you could kill someone by breaking their eardrums. You smiled for the first time that day. and laughed at your thoughts. "As for the singing, probably best that only Lex hears it, he seems to have ears made of steel to find my wailing comforting."   
  
Eren laughed and sat beside you, his face becoming serious all of a sudden. "About... Last night. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry." His face flushed and he looked almost sad. "I guess my anger by the way Levi has treated you, even right from the beginning, just boiled over. I can't explain why I kissed you, well, I can, I like you, but I never wanted to push myself on you. You've always been here for me and I feel like I betrayed you last night."   
  
"You did." You answered almost immediately, but you were overwhelmed that he had apologised and so earnestly. Even though you were still worried where it was all heading, that would at least be your silver lining. "But thank you. For apologising. It really means something, or it will if you don't try it again. Friends shouldn't kiss, it's not a good idea, especially when one is in a relationship."   
  
"But You aren't-" Eren interrupted until you put a hand up to silence him.   
  
"Don't ruin it." Your words were hard but enough to stop the conversation in its tracks. "Whether it is or it isn't, I believe I still am, so for my sake don't mention it anymore. It won't change anything." It surprised you how direct you were being, somewhere inside you still held onto the notion that you and Levi were still together, even if he had acted like you didn't exist. You closed your eyes remembering the lingering feeling of his lips pressed momentarily on your forehead. "Just stay as friends nothing more, if you can promise me that, I might even sing to you at some point." You added with a smile and seeing him respond in kind you nudged his shoulder with your own.   
  
"Oh, I cannot wait to go deaf." Eren chuckled. You looked at him shocked, how did he know you couldn't sing other than your throwaway comment? "Lex told me you sounded like a banshee and to never take you up on your offer to sing, he went to sleep to block out the sound!" He couldn't contain his laughter any longer and clutched his sides, as you punched his arm.   
  
"I'm going to kill him!" It was beside the point that you hadn't actually sung to Lex, it was the principle!   
  
"Kill who?" That deep timbre rolled off the walls of your bedroom, as you looked up at the redhead, looking completely innocent, clutching more files in his large hands. You glared at him, glancing down at Eren who was still laughing.   
  
"You! Saying that I sounded like a banshee." You cried out in horror, only to see Lex smile, that smile that only he could pull off. The one that had such an air of innocence, but at the same time knowing he had been caught. It was infuriating!   
  
"Ahh... that. I hold hands up, I did say it. It was cruel. Forgive me Kotenok." He said with feigned sorrow, his eyes playful. You growled as you stood up, making your way over to him to beat on his chest. Lex wrapped his arms around you with a chuckle. "Now now Little one. I did not mean it." You would have stayed angry, but the embrace that he pulled you into, melted your heart, as it always did, slowly washing the annoyance away.   
  
"Hey, so he gets hugs, whilst I get a punch in the arm? How is that fair?" Eren stated indignantly. You pulled away from Lex and laughed.   
  
"Life isnt fair Eren, you should know that by now. But you should have thought about that before your lips went AWOL." Your words were delivered with a sting to them, Turning back to Lex, unfussed to Erens response; you spoke again. "Did you need something?"  
  
"Yes actually. I ran into Erwin on my way back from breakfast, he asked me to give you this. He said that it might help." Lex produced the files that he still held and gave them to you. Taking them with a look of confusion you opened the top one, only to find your own file.   
  
"What is this... why this?" You said, more to yourself than anyone else.   
  
"It seems that it is your file. No idea why he gave me, or what it means." Lex replied simply. Scanning the page, you couldn't see what would possibly be relevant to the case.   
  
"I really don't get it." You said with a frown. Eren offered his hand to have a look, pursing your lips in thought, you passed him your file. You stood there in silence trying to work out why you were connected to all of this. Lex seemed to be in the same state, leaning against the frame of the door, staring at the ceiling with his hand stroking his chin. The silence was broken quite suddenly.   
  
"What the fuck?!" Eren exclaimed. He seemed to be in the habit today of scaring the crap out of you. Even Lex look startled.   
  
"Speak. What is it?" Lex demanded, half through shock, half through eagerness. You scrambled over to Eren, hoping to whatever higher power that he had seen something.   
  
"Alright, calm down. I'm sure it's nothing-"  
  
"Get on with it! What is it!!" You urged just as harshly as your counterpart.   
  
"Well, I just thought it was really strange that Erwin's conflict of interest happened on the same day that we lost the town that you lived in..." He trailed off as he saw the look on your face, you felt your heart drop into your stomach. Lex stepped over you and grabbed the papers Eren was looking at.   
  
"It is true Kotenok." He paused whilst looking through the rest. "Hmmm.. It also seems to be directly related. Erwin was on 'clean up' duty. Disgusting term.... Goodness.... He was found in an isolated street close to the towns local inn, didn't you say that you lived near the inn?" It was then that Lex looked at you, your eyes had welled up with tears. All of this was related to you. WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON! He must have seen the whirling vortex of thoughts in your eyes. "Don't...   I know this is a breakthrough...But you must remain calm... Don't .. Do anything stupid...."   
  
You got up not paying any attention to him and ran out of the room. You needed to see it for yourself, whatever was going on, you would find answers there. You would have to go back home.   
  
"COME BACK!!!" You heard Lex and Eren calling after you as you ran through the passageways, but you wouldn't stop, you wouldn't be dissuaded, people were hiding stuff from you, probably had been all your life. You would find out one way or another. You sped past a group of people almost knocking yourself onto the floor but kept on going. You heard more people calling after you, in fact, you were sure you heard Levi's voice but he wasn't important at the moment. Nothing else was.   
  
You ran into the equipment cupboard, grabbed the first harness and 3DMG you could and sped to the stables. There was only one horse that was fast enough for you to get you there in record time. Levi's horse. It also meant that no one could use him to catch up with you and to try and stop you. It seemed that he had already been for a run as he was still saddled, you fed him a little hay, as you slipped the harness and gear over your body. God, it felt to be in it again, like you finally were whole again. Without much hesitation, you led the horse out of the stables, climbed upon him and raced out of the courtyard and back towards home.   
  
  
~~~~  
  
Alexei watched as he saw her ride away and sighed. It would have been a stupid thought that she wouldn't do something rash, she was young and hotheaded. It made him chuckle internally, just like he was when he was younger. Still, this meant that she was now alone and without protection, even with all her promises and prior fortune at not becoming food for the Titans, that did not mean that she would be so lucky this time. He heard multiple footsteps follow him to where he stood in the grounds and looked down to see not only Eren, Jean and Sasha but Levi as well.   
  
"What is she doing?!" Eren exclaimed. "All I did was tell her that the dates matched up!" His words almost sounded hopeless. Levi growled with irritation, marched up to Eren and grabbed his jacket collar with force.   
  
"What. Did. You. Do?" His voice was scathing. Lex looked slightly bemused at the sight that he was now seeing, and that was mirrored by Sasha and Jean who were now trying to prise the two apart.   
  
"GET OFF ME! I saw the dates matched up, I was  _actually helping,_  unlike  _you!"_ Eren tried to wriggle free of Levi's grasp but was only released when Levi threw him to the ground.  
  
"You are a fucking Moron! Because of you, she has thrown herself into danger once again, what's more, is that she has no idea what she is getting mixed up in." Levi retorted bitterly.   
  
"Hold up!" Jean interrupted. "How the hell was she supposed to know what she was getting into if you couldn't be fucked to tell her?"   
  
Lex groaned as he saw Levi's eyes flashed at Jean and knew that a fight was soon to follow. He walked in the middle of them and broke them up with a growl of his own, due to his voice being as deep as it was, it stopped them in silence. "Enough. Levi, we were bound to find out soon. You should have spoken to me if it was sensitive to her." He glared at Levi, he was getting fed up with the way that he was treating his little sister, the only ones that had done anything wrong in his mind were Levi and Erwin. "This could have been handled better. If she is injured... or worse. Alexei will deliver your heart to you on platter." The looks on everyone's faces had now changed to shock and were somewhat fearful. They had never heard Lex speak like that, but they also knew he was resourceful enough to make it happen. "Now we can argue until sun goes down or we could go after her and make sure she is not hurt. One person out in wilderness against Titan does not stand chance." His voice was stern and for a moment there was silence until everyone pulled their thoughts together and scrambled to get their gear together.   
  
They regrouped at the stables, only to hear a yell of anger from inside. On peering in, Lex saw Levi throwing something across the barn.  _Ah,_ he thought,  _he has just realised Kotenok took his horse._  He couldn't help but stifle a laugh, it was almost as if she had left a very crude message to Levi by taking his prized mount. Before he mounted his own horse, who was now in the courtyard, he looked up at the sky with a prayer in his heart.   
  
 _Please let her be safe, I cannot lose her. May her horse be swift as angels wings and guided by the goddess of fortune._  
  
Kotenok. Do not die. 


End file.
